Chasing A Crooked Shadow

Photo by Doogan82

“There was a man who was so disturbed by the sight of his own shadow and so displeased with his own footsteps that he determined to get rid of both. The method he hit upon was to run away from them, so he got up and ran, but every time he put his foot down, there was another step, and all this while his shadow kept up with him too without the slightest difficulty. He attributed his failure to the fact that he was not running fast enough. So he ran faster and faster, without stopping, until he finally dropped dead. He failed to realize that if he merely stepped into the shade, his shadow would vanish, and if he sat down and stayed still, there would be no more footsteps.”  

This parable from the Chinese philosopher, Chuang Tzu, aptly captures the common reality of our lives. So many of our experiences, particularly during the impressionable years of childhood, are based on negative feedback on who we are – supposedly incompetent at many things and incapable of brilliance on numerous occasions and so on.

It’s not difficult to imagine then why we grow up feeling incomplete and constantly strive to become perfect – when we can finally convince ourselves, and others, of how good and wonderful we are. This insecurity and sense of incompleteness drives us to chase bigger goals. However, because of the lack of deeper fulfillment, each summit we climb appears only like the bottom of the next peak.

Simplify Your Life This New Year!

This is the season for resolutions. I reckon you have considered one or two yourself. Unfortunately, as the year progresses, most New Year resolutions tend to fall by the wayside and end up as mere intents. Here’s an insightful approach towards creating a life that’s not only happier and more fulfilling, but one that also automatically responds to your most meaningful resolutions.

We complicate life

Driven sometimes by ambition and other times by a sense of inner incompleteness, we instinctively immerse ourselves in a myriad of pursuits. We often act out of the fear of losing out, compared to our peers or our social network.

We would rather be overwhelmed than miss out on the slightest chance to please the boss, make more money, enhance our status, accumulate more clothes or gadgets, or go to the extra social event. We also find it hard to let up on instantly responding to text messages, checking our e-mails or facebook accounts multiple times a day or randomly watching television.

What suffers in the process is our attention to our most important priorities – the ones that actually make us feel fulfilled and happier. No wonder then we are unable to see through many of our resolutions, the New Year ones being no exception.

Are you the Aggressor or the Victim?

Photo by Tiffany

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeing new lands but seeing with new eyes" - Marcel Proust

Our childhood experiences, coupled with our genetic makeup, significantly influence the type of emotional personality we acquire as adults. Our sense of self-esteem, temperament, perceptiveness, relationship skills, and ability to give and receive love are directly impacted with these factors.

Based on different combinations of these attributes, there are surely a large number of distinct personality types possible (please also see my earlier post on Being Myself). However, there are two types namely, the aggressor and the victim, that are prominently displayed in our relationships. Unfortunately, living either of these archetypes limits us from enjoying deeper and more loving relationships.

The Victim

As the title suggests, people with a Victim personality believe that they are the victims of the world – that the others do not care for their emotions and that they are routinely left alone to fend for themselves. They tend to be inward looking and are easily given to self-blame. Experiencing any setback, they are quick to judge and blame themselves for their situation. These aspects are partly a reflection of their low self-esteem.

Demystifying Death

Photo by Ray MacLean 

Death is not a subject we often think about or are even comfortable talking about. In fact, a number of contemporary sociologists believe that despite widespread liberalization of thought in modern times, death is one of the topics where the extent of taboo has actually grown. What is death?

An important law of physics, the law of conservation of energy, states that the total amount of energy in a closed, or isolated, system remains constant over time. What this means is that in such a system, energy cannot be created or destroyed. It can however change forms. We also know from Einstein's theory of relativity that mass and energy are one and the same thing. Thus, we can infer that in a closed system, the total mass and energy of the system stay unchanged over time.

Given that the universe is such a closed system, it is understandable that there is no new energy or mass being created inside it; there’s instead a shuffling and metamorphosis of forms that’s happening constantly. Take the example of a snowflake, an ice cube, a water droplet and a steam vapor. What do you notice is common in here? All these are nothing but different expressions of the same entity. While the underlying essence of each of these forms is water, we attach different labels to each of the forms and, in the process, get distracted from connecting with the truth.

This is what explains death. The universe is constantly evolving and, in the process, continues to take different forms– galaxies, stars, planets, animals, plants and humans. All the forms arise from the universe and dissolve into it, but are neither born nor die. Death is a concept of the mind and of its identification with the body form.

Discovering Your Calling

Photo by Jesus

In one of my earlier posts (Are you following your calling), I had talked about the difference between pursuing a job, career or your calling and the impact pursuing your calling has on your level of happiness at work.

Now, following your calling is understandably easier said than done. How do you even go about the crucial step of discovering your calling? If you are not one of the lucky few, who somehow landed themselves in what they truly love, what can you consciously do about it?

Here are some steps that can support you in that discovery.

Set aside time for reflection

I believe each one of us is uniquely gifted and has a special purpose on earth. However, we get so caught up in the treadmill of our fast-paced lives that we fail to discover this purpose. Slowing down is essential for developing deeper clarity.

You need to create time and space to reflect on what is most important for you – do you want to be more successful or make a significant contribution; do you want more money or be happier; do you value social recognition or inner fulfillment; what role does family and community have for you and so forth.

The Grand Illusion!

Photo by NeilsPhotography

One fish said to the other, “Do you believe in this ocean that they talk about?”

                                                                                   

So goes an ancient Chinese saying and I think it well illustrates how narrow our vision of the world and the universe can be. We see the world from our limited perceptual framework. Despite an overwhelming evolution of the human race, the human mind is severely restricted by what it can perceive through the senses.

What we hear is limited by the frequencies our ears can process – dogs can hear many higher frequencies and hence have a very different perception of the same sounds. Our sight is limited by the light frequencies our eyes can relate to; since pit vipers can sense heat from infrared rays (somewhat like the night vision goggles), they must construct the same world rather differently.

Further, from our knowledge of science, we know so many things are just not what they appear to be – the sky isn’t blue, only the scattering of the blue light absorbed by the atmosphere makes it appear so; the moon doesn’t rise in the night; and the house we live in is not standstill, but rotates along with the earth. Essentially, we see, hear and process what we can and not what the reality is.

3 Steps To Highly Engaged Employees

Photo by Kai

“The task of leadership is not to put greatness into humanity, but to elicit it, for the greatness is already there.” ~ John Buchan 

One of the top challenges that leaders face today is related to creating a highly engaged workforce. We all know that a highly engaged workforce not only helps nurture a happier work environment, but also means better business and leads to higher performance results. Moreover, it’s expensive to have disengaged staff - unengaged workers are estimated to cost their organizations billions of dollars annually.

What builds employee engagement?

Coaching style works

I had previously written a post (Leading through coaching) on this theme. Therein, I had tried to reason that when leaders employ a ‘coaching-style’ of leadership, it significantly supports the process of creating higher employee engagement. Coaching style focuses on self-directed learning, by relying on the other person’s self-awareness and their sense of self-responsibility.

It effectively helps employees feel autonomous (the employees drive the agenda of the discussions not the boss), learn and grow (through self-discovery rather than being directed), feel valued (coaching is a non-judgmental conversation, of equals), and empowered (by discovering their own solutions) – thereby helping them become highly engaged.

Another unique and supportive perspective

I recently came across a short video, by Dan Pink, which provides a unique, and yet a supportive, perspective to creating meaningful employee engagement. His video led me to his latest book, Drive, that’s revealing about what really motivates us.